Moving Forward
by clueless-chan
Summary: It's full moon and Tsuzuki remembered things he wanted to forget.


Title: Moving Forward

Fandom: Yami No Matsuei

Characters: Tatsumi, Tsuzuki, Muraki (perhaps)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Don't own the fandom

Warning: angst? Definitely un-beta-ed.

Author's note: Written for a friend's birthday, as a gift.

"It's not like you who suddenly lost appetite."

Tatsumi's voice distracted him. More accurately, Tatsumi's voice brought him back to reality, and suddenly Tsuzuki realized that he was holding his cup with both hands a few inches from his mouth, as if he was meaning to take a sip, but he forgot half-way.

When he looked up, he saw Tatsumi smile softly at him. Tsuzuki pulled his lips to smile back. They were in a quiet, traditional teahouse in Tokyo, sitting across from each other at a table by the window. There were low chattering from other patrons around them, and in one corner of the room, a girl in pretty kimono was playing a sad song with a _samisen_.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Tatsumi said as he pushed his glasses up a little.

Tsuzuki batted his eye lashes. "What's beautiful?" He was not sure whether he should go on and drink his tea or put the cup down. Either way, it looked silly to him, but the tea had cooled, and he had lost his desire to drink it.

Tatsumi jerked his head towards the window. "The moon."

Tsuzuki moved his head enough so that he could see the moon. The moon was indeed beautiful. Shining brightly in the darkness of night sky, she looked like a queen sitting quietly on her throne, waiting for her prince charming to come and save her… Tsuzuki shook his head, wondering why he had such a completely stupid thought.

But it was not the moon that snagged him for one brief moment from reality, from the teahouse where he was supposed to enjoy nice, hot green tea with some extra sweet _mochi_ and _azuki_ cakes. It was the voices of the children playing outside, on the pavement. Their shouts and screams and laughter and shrieks…

"Do you know the story of Princess Kaguya?" asked Tatsumi as Tsuzuki put his cup down, finally, mumbling, "Yeah, I know."

Again, Tatsumi smiled patiently at him, and frankly, Tsuzuki didn't know why his ex-partner had to do that. Tatsumi acted as if he needed soothing or something.

"One thing for sure," Tatsumi pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose again with one fingertip, "is that we should not worry anymore that the moon would turn red."

Tsuzuki almost frowned, but he didn't, he blinked instead, then he stared at Tatsumi. There was another smile on Tatsumi's face, a knowing smile, and Tsuzuki shrugged. "Yeah, I think you're right."

Tatsumi took a deep breath. "Well, I have to go back to the office," he said as he made to get up. "There are some letters I need to look at, and Kacho needs them tomorrow morning. I'll see you tomorrow at work, okay?"

Tsuzuki nodded. "Okay."

"I'll pick up the bill," said Tatsumi as he put on his coat.

"Thank you," Tsuzuki gave Kacho's secretary his brightest smile. He was indeed grateful that Tatsumi was willing to pay for the un-eaten cakes and un-drunk tea.

Tatsumi didn't wait until Tsuzuki followed him to the door, nor he seemed to expect that. He waved his hand at Tsuzuki once, and went to the cashier to settle the bill, and exited, and it was only when a waitress came to clear their table that Tsuzuki got up and walked out.

He wished he did not have to pass the part of the pavement where the children were still playing. He wondered whether it would do them any good if he told them that it was bedtime already. Perhaps not. It was not even eight pm, yet. So he steeled his heart, and walked past as quickly as possible.

Still…

Tsuzuki had to stop only a few meters from them. He wished he could walk further, so he could take a brief respite without having to involuntarily hear the children's voices, but his legs would not take him. His knees felt so weak that he had to lean on a concrete fence to support his body.

And the children were still laughing and screaming and shouting…

"Bakemono!"

The word hit him like a rock, and he almost stumbled down. He found a metal pole, part of the fence, where he could tighten his hands around it for more support. He felt very ill suddenly, he felt nauseous and feverish, his heart picking up some beats and he had started to sweat beneath his clothes while it was too cold for a normal human to perspire.

Another laughter, followed by another "Bakemono!"

_Bakemono_.

Long, long time ago, in another lifetime, another place, another world, yet it felt like he was there right then.

The memories came flooding his mind and he could not stop it. The children laughing at him and throwing stones at him whenever he tried to get close to them and find an opportunity to join them in their games. They did not want him, he was not one of them, he was not human, he was a…

"Bakemono!"

Tsuzuki bit his lower lip to stop him from moaning the pain from the pit of his stomach. His body started to shake and he pulled his coat tighter around him. He had to get out of here, get away as far as possible from the children, from their laughter and their screams and shrieks.

He looked up to breathe and saw a blood-red moon in the sky. It was as if something evil had come and ripped her beautiful face while he was not looking.

However, Tsuzuki only knew one definite meaning of the color.

He bent his head down, inhaling deeply, calming down as his stomach suddenly churned violently and his heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was going to burst out of his chest suddenly.

Tsuzuki took another deep breath, resting his forehead on the vertical concrete, and slowly deafened himself from the sounds around him.

He concentrated on one single thing.

One feeling.

One _person_.

It gave Tsuzuki some strength, and as soon as he had enough, he pushed his body from the concrete fence, and quickly jogged away, toward one destination, although he did not know where, yet.

end

26 September 2007


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